Broken Chains

After the molestation incident, Hidden Pain I did not visit my dad. A year and a half later I hit puberty hence mom was cautious of sending me to meet my dad.

Dad used to come to my school to visit me, which was very embarrassing because I had lied to my classmates and had not informed them he had left his job and was back for good. Not many parents lived separately in the 90’s.

A few years later, mom applied for a divorce, it was close to a decade they had been living separately. When the case came up for hearing my dad refused to take any responsibility for me. He blatantly informed the judge he did not want co-custody of me and he was giving up all his claims. Naturally, mom got my custody along with a divorce.

On being told about the court proceedings I didn’t react, in fact, I choose not to think about it. It was later I understood that I kept this incident on the back burner to save myself from being hurt (these were the times when I resented my mom too). Years later when he tried to reconcile I could not get over being rejected.

We met on numerous occasions and he tried to tell me his part of the story, which made sense considering the person he is but I could not forgive him for disowning me. Whatever shit happened between my mom and him was their issue, as a parent, he should have just been there for me, all I wanted was just a few loving words, a few hugs and kisses. Sigh ……. Was that so difficult?

4 thoughts on “Broken Chains

  1. People have reasons for leaving…. sometimes they actually convince themselves that their reasons are right… only to find out years later how wrong they actually were.
    Do you still talk to your dad? It sure is a heartbreaking story……

    1. We used to be in touch until five years ago, when I decided I didn’t want to be in touch with him. Since he is old he needs me. I know what I’m doing is not the right thing but I like being away from him.I so want him to suffer. I’m mean like that, I don’t forgive easily. I have tried but I can’t.

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