In Debt

This is kinda off topic considering I’m still writing about past stuff and creating a storyline for all of you, but I’m quite agitated right now and If I don’t let it out, it will drive me crazy.

As I had mentioned earlier, I was in an 11-year relationship. We were not living in together (because our families were head bound) but we were man and wife, signing on the dotted line was the only thing left. We were building a life together, so we ended up taking a mortgage and exhausting my credit cards. Buying a house decorating it and stuff. Since he had taken the mortgage, I took the cards. We overdid it and I could not pay the card payments. (There were 4 cards in all.) 

Now, this is something that happened a decade back, India was opening to the concept of plastic money and we didn’t have proper systems in place. Credit Cards were being distributed like freebies to anyone and everyone. That’s how I got so many cards in spite of my poor credit rating, Credit Rating was non-existent then.

Till we were together we used to pay off the minimum amounts, but once we broke off the entire burden was on me. I cleared off two cards but I could not do so for the other two cards. I think I was hurt or too proud to ask my ex for help. I think it was the former or maybe both I don’t know.

So, it’s almost ten years now and the credit card guys still call me up. Here in India your assets and other financial stuff cannot get sequestrated. So, I’m trying to wait it out till they write off the debt. I keep changing my phone number but somehow they are always sniffing around for me. I also don’t have that kind of money to pay them. I’m not working, I took a sabbatical two and a half years ago and I’m not earning much. My mom is managing the house and No, I cannot ask her to pay my debt.

One of the credit card guys called me today I told him he had the wrong number but now I’m shit scared.

I know how this makes me look, like a fraud and a thief. I’m not very proud of what I have done.

5 comments

  1. I’m so sorry you are going through this…. But the past does not define who you are. The fact that you can not pay off your debt does not define who you are. You are doing the best you can.

    You were a different person when all of this happened, with different dreams and ideas and hopes. Dont beat yourself up over this.

  2. I know Invictus. I still live in fear about finances. I have to watch every dollar. Credit cards are nothing but a scam, people are impulsive, and don’t always think. I worry with every check I get. I can’t save a dollar, because there’s always some bill to pay or something needing to be fixed. That doesn’t count other expenses.

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